Thursday, February 23, 2017

A Lady's Rule on Gossip

A lady does not gossip, nor listen when others do.  If a person begins to gossip in her presence about Mary (for example), a lady might say, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but isn't that Mary's story to tell?" or pleasantly suggest, "Let's wait for Mary to tell us about that if she wants to."  

Busybodies often try to glean information about a person from that person's close friends or relatives. When a lady is approached with prying questions about friends or family, she might reply, "I really couldn't say, but I'll be happy to tell him (or her) that you asked!"  

Photo: found on Pinterest

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Noting Changes in Another's Personal Appearance

When a lady notices a difference in another's physical appearance, such as a change in hairstyle, hair color, or weight, she does not mention it specifically, unless the two enjoy an intimate friendship. 

Remarks or questions on such changes are too personal in nature for someone other than a close friend to bring up.  This rule includes apparently innocent inquiries such as, "Did you color your hair?" (which may put the other person in the position of discussing a subject she'd rather not), and “Have you lost weight?” (which can leave the subtle impression that the person needed to).

Instead, when a lady notices a particular change in the appearance of a person who is not a very close friend, she compliments only in general terms, such as, “You look lovely!” 

Photo:  found on Pinterest

Thursday, February 9, 2017

To Be ... Not to Be Seen

It is those who have no need to be in the spotlight
who are really worth watching.

A lady does not need an audience in order to shine.  She is who she is, whether or not anyone else is watching.

She runs her life by principles (her code), not pretense. She is genuinely concerned with what she should be, not what others think her to be.  She knows how to enjoy an experience without turning it into a photo opportunity...

... She can buy a new car without posting a picture of it on social media.
   ... She will keep a tidy house when no guests are expected.
       ... She can dine at a fancy restaurant without publicizing photos of what she ate.
          ... She does a good deed when no one will notice.

A lady of substance is more concerned with being than being seen.

Monday, February 6, 2017

To Better Myself Without Considering Myself Better

"Never wrong to better yourself ...
Always wrong to consider yourself better."
My Father

A lady is always striving to improve and strengthen her mind, her body, her spirit.  She aspires to new personal heights.  In doing so, however, she never comes to see herself as superior. She betters herself without ever regarding herself better than others.

Photograph: Audrey Hepburn by Mark Shaw, 1953.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Excuse Me or I'm Sorry?

When a lady needs to move past someone, she says, "Excuse me, please."  She doesn't say, "Sorry,"  because there is no reason to apologize for her presence or her need to pass.

"I'm terribly sorry," is only said when a lady has unintentionally caused some kind of trespass or damage, such as spilling a drink or bumping into someone.

Photo: found on Pinterest

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Responding to Invitations

When responding to an invitation, no matter how casually extended, a lady never uses the verb invite as a noun by saying, "Thanks for the invite."

She acknowledges the kindness with a focus on the other person by saying, "Thank you for inviting me," or "I really appreciate your invitation..."  The millennial trend of replacing "invitation" with "invite" has the subtle effect of minimizing the hospitality of the host or hostess and the courtesy being extended.

Photo: found on Pinterest