Thursday, March 17, 2016

Handling Unwanted Questions



Thoughtful reader AHHa recently asked for help in answering questions that make her uncomfortable.

Thank you, AHHa, for an excellent question.  A lady's code does not require her to answer every question she is asked.  Some questions are better left unanswered.  So when the occasion arises, a lady doesn't feel compelled to give information when she'd rather not. Instead, she preserves her personal boundaries without being disagreeable. She might smile and say good-naturedly, "Oh, I'm afraid that's top-secret information..." or simply, "I really couldn't say."  No explanation or apology is owed for not answering the question.  A simple response, said in a pleasant, but confident way is enough.

Photo:  Gitta Schilling with Hat by Laroche,  photographed by Regina Relang

11 comments:

  1. Thank you for the great post. I will also say, "I'm not really sure how to answer that", which is usually the truth!

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    1. A perfect response! Thanks for sharing this, TNG.

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  2. Thank you, they are both great responses.

    However, I do struggle when certain people ask me "supposedly caring questions". For example, my brothers are floundering in life, and I get very upset when some people constantly ask about them and how they're doing, because I know, that they know, that they're not doing well. So I just say they're good,!but inside I'm fuming because I know deep down that they don't really care, and they're just asking to be mean. They do not care.

    Mara.

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    1. Dear Mara! It hurts when others ask about loved ones without any sincere concern, but you are responding well with a simple answer devoid of the details they are seeking.

      Sometimes a bit of well-aimed banter can put an end to such inquiries. Perhaps when one of these people asks about one of your brothers you could say very innocently, "Oh, haven't you heard? He's running for President." And then change the subject. I think they will soon get the message that you aren't interested in discussing the matter with them and the questions will stop.

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    2. Thanks Nancy. The president comment makes me smile. I'll give it a try. Thank you.

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  3. Hello Nancy,
    My name is Shirley and I heard about you from my friend Beverly at Bunny Cottage Where Grace and Tea Are Free.
    I just wanted to say how much I have enjoyed your blog. This particular post is very meaningful for me today.
    Thank you for encouraging us....Shirley

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    1. Hello, Shirley! I'm so happy to meet you. Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself. I'll look forward to visiting you at the Little Gray Cottage (how inviting!)

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  4. Sometimes people can ask the most personal questions and it just takes my breath away!

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    1. And that is a very ladylike response! <3

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  5. Thank you, Nancy! Your thoughts are very helpful. I should certainly work on developing this new habit.

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    1. You're welcome, AHHa. I'm so glad if this will help. I'm also working on an upcoming post for the second part of your question. Warm Regards!

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