Thursday, February 16, 2017

Noting Changes in Another's Personal Appearance

When a lady notices a difference in another's physical appearance, such as a change in hairstyle, hair color, or weight, she does not mention it specifically, unless the two enjoy an intimate friendship. 

Remarks or questions on such changes are too personal in nature for someone other than a close friend to bring up.  This rule includes apparently innocent inquiries such as, "Did you color your hair?" (which may put the other person in the position of discussing a subject she'd rather not), and “Have you lost weight?” (which can leave the subtle impression that the person needed to).

Instead, when a lady notices a particular change in the appearance of a person who is not a very close friend, she compliments only in general terms, such as, “You look lovely!” 

Photo:  found on Pinterest


  1. Would it be rude of me to print this out and post it at my desk? :) I have very dark brown hair and have been fighting the gray since my 20's and go every six to seven weeks for a root touch-up.

    I can not tell you how uncomfortable and embarassing it is when a someone at work says "you got the grays covered again?" It's usually a male co-worker who is seriously lacking a verbal filter. I never know how to respond so I usually say "thank you; how are you?" Not the response I really want to give him.

    1. I admire your graciousness in what is certainly over-stepping the boundaries of a gentleman.

      Another option, which might cause the speaker some rumination, would be to softly say, "Why, Bob, your powers of observation are simply amazing."

      Keep shining!

  2. Hello Nancy,

    Hope you are enjoying a pleasant President's Day!

    General compliments are almost always nicer, and certainly safer! Unless as you noted, the recipient is an intimate.

    I like your new profile! It's nice to know a bit more about you. I'm so envious of your ability to play the piano; what a wonderful talent. Musicians stay young always I think!

    1. Hello, Erina, and thank you! I always appreciate your comments.